Therapy for compulsive pornography use and sexual behavior

If you have tried to stop more times than you can count, made real promises to yourself or your spouse, and found yourself back in it anyway, you already know willpower is not the missing ingredient. Compulsive sexual behavior is a recognized clinical condition (ICD-11 lists it as Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder) and it responds to structured treatment.

A few honest things up front. Research shows compulsive pornography use activates reward circuits in patterns that overlap with substance addiction; how far that overlap goes is still debated among researchers, and we'll be straight with you about that. What is not debated: the behavior causes real harm to you and to the people who trust you, shame drives the cycle rather than stopping it, and secrecy is the environment it grows in. Treatment works on all three.

What treatment involves

We work within the CSAT framework developed by Patrick Carnes, which means a real assessment (not a guess) of what is going on, a plan for sobriety that you help define, and structured work on the shame, isolation, and unmet needs underneath the behavior. Where a partner is involved, treatment includes preparing you for a full formal disclosure, because partial honesty keeps both of you stuck.

Many men come to us because their faith makes the behavior feel unbearable. We take that seriously. We also know from the research that religious shame by itself does not change behavior and often makes it worse. So we distinguish carefully between conviction, which moves you toward repair, and shame, which tells you that you are the problem and keeps you hiding. Faith is a resource here when it is used that way.

We also run Rebuild, a 16-week course for men rebuilding trust after betrayal, which pairs with individual therapy.

Confidentiality

Everything you tell us is protected under California law and HIPAA. We will not contact your spouse, employer, or church. Telehealth is available throughout California if coming to an office is not an option.

Who you'll work with

Spencer Posey, LMFT, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). Westlake Village and Ventura; telehealth statewide.

A 15-minute call, no commitment