EMDR Therapy in Westlake Village: When the Problem Is What You Came to Believe About Yourself

By Spencer Posey, LMFT #141641, focused on EMDR, trauma, shame, and betrayal-related work.

Is EMDR therapy really about memories, or is it about the beliefs those memories installed?

Both, and the distinction matters. EMDR targets a distressing memory alongside the negative self-belief that memory left behind, something like "I'm worthless," "I'm broken," or "It was my fault." Reducing the emotional charge on that belief, and on the event itself, is often what actually changes how a person moves through daily life. At Abide Counseling Collective in Westlake Village, that belief-focused dimension shapes how we approach the work.

When you experience something painful or violating, your brain can file the event and the meaning it assigned to you together in the same package. Long after the event fades from conscious thought, the belief keeps running quietly in the background, shaping how you read a partner's tone, how you handle criticism, how loudly that inner voice speaks when you are alone. EMDR can help loosen that belief's hold in a way that talk alone sometimes cannot reach.

Why does shame make trauma harder to treat, and what does EMDR offer specifically for that?

Shame tends to keep painful material hidden, which is part of what makes it clinically stubborn. When a person believes that what happened reflects something wrong with them at the core, they often avoid the memories most in need of processing. That avoidance keeps the distress intact. EMDR's structure can reduce the need to narrate everything aloud, which sometimes lowers the threshold enough to begin.

Shame differs from guilt in a specific way: guilt points toward a particular act, while shame points inward at the self. For people working through sexual trauma, betrayal, faith-related moral injury, or behavior they deeply regret, that inward-pointing quality can make healing feel almost beside the point, as if repair were available for everyone else but not for them. EMDR, when paired with honest preparation work, can begin to loosen that fixed conclusion.

There is early evidence that EMDR may reach shame-adjacent distress specifically. A randomized controlled trial by Behnammoghadam and colleagues (2026) studied 66 patients with major depressive disorder, assigning 33 to seven individual EMDR sessions and 33 to standard treatment, and reported that EMDR may be a useful adjunctive approach for internalized stigma. The authors themselves urge cautious interpretation given the modest sample and single site, and we read it the same way.

How does EMDR actually change a negative belief, and what does that process look like?

EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, often guided eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds, while you hold a targeted memory briefly in mind. The aim is to help your brain reprocess that memory so it loses its raw emotional charge. As that charge decreases, the belief attached to the memory tends to soften as well. A more accurate belief, chosen at the start of processing, can then carry more genuine weight.

The process follows a structured sequence developed by Francine Shapiro. Before any reprocessing begins, you and your clinician identify the specific memory being targeted, the negative belief currently attached to it, the emotion it carries, and where that emotion sits in the body. You also identify a more accurate belief you would prefer to hold. That target belief is assessed together and chosen for its plausibility to you right now, then strengthened during the closing phase of processing once the distress has settled. It is grounded work, not positive thinking layered over a wound.

Many people describe the shift as the event becoming something that happened rather than something that keeps happening. The facts remain. What tends to change is the grip.

Can EMDR help when the wound came from repeated experiences rather than a single event?

Yes, and this is worth clarifying. Negative beliefs rarely come from one moment. More often they are the accumulated conclusion of repeated early experiences, ongoing relational wounds, chronic criticism, or prolonged betrayal. A person can arrive carrying a deep conviction that they are not enough or not safe, and struggle to point to a single origin. EMDR can still work with that kind of material.

In practice, a clinician helps identify the memories most linked to the belief's emotional charge, sometimes a cluster of related experiences, sometimes one that feels like a prototype for the rest. Reprocessing can move through those memories with the belief, not just the event, as the organizing target. This is one reason that preparation, thorough history-taking, and the clinician-client relationship all matter before reprocessing begins.

The research base continues to expand across different presentations. A scoping review by O'Donovan, Ward, and Melia (2026) examined EMDR for birth trauma and post-traumatic stress following childbirth, noting that while EMDR is recommended in clinical guidelines for this population, the existing evidence is heterogeneous and would benefit from longer follow-up and more diverse samples. That kind of measured reading is how we hold the evidence generally: promising, still developing, and best applied to the person in front of us.

What does starting this kind of work look like at Abide Counseling Collective in Westlake Village?

The beginning is slower than many people expect, and that is by design. A thorough intake, a clear picture of your history, and grounding skills that give your nervous system a place to return all come before any reprocessing begins. If shame and self-criticism are prominent in your story, we sometimes pair EMDR with self-compassion work, which can reduce the avoidance that keeps painful beliefs locked in place.

Westlake Village sits across both Los Angeles and Ventura counties, which shapes the resources available to you. If you are in crisis at any point, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline offers free, confidential support 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988. For the Los Angeles County portion of the area, the LA County Department of Mental Health ACCESS Line provides 24/7 screening, referral, and field-based crisis response through its Psychiatric Mobile Response Teams. Statewide, the CalHOPE peer warm line offers emotional support at (833) 317-4673 during its posted hours.

As a California-licensed clinician, we can also work with clients located anywhere in California by telehealth, following the state's consent, privacy, and emergency-planning requirements. We confirm your location each session so we can respond if something urgent arises.

Common questions

If I've tried therapy before and the shame hasn't moved, does that mean EMDR won't help either? Not necessarily. Different modalities reach different parts of the problem, and shame-based material can be particularly resistant to insight-based approaches alone. EMDR's focus on belief change rather than verbal narration addresses the emotional layer that conversation sometimes leaves intact. Whether it is a fit for you depends on your history and current stability, which is something we assess together.

Do I have to talk about the worst parts of what happened in detail? EMDR asks less verbal detail than many talk therapies. You hold a memory in mind during bilateral stimulation without being required to narrate every part aloud. For people who carry shame, this often makes the material more approachable when speaking about an event feels like reliving it in a room with another person.

Can I do EMDR over telehealth if coming in feels like too much right now? Yes. EMDR can be conducted by telehealth using several forms of bilateral stimulation adapted for a screen. We assess whether remote work is appropriate for your situation and confirm your physical location each session so we can arrange local support if an emergency comes up.

What if I'm not sure the belief I'm carrying is even connected to a specific memory? That uncertainty is more common than people expect and is something a clinician can help you trace. The history-taking and preparation phases of EMDR are partly for this purpose. A belief like "I'm unlovable" rarely points back to one clean moment, and that is taken into account when identifying what to target first.

Spencer Posey, LMFT #141641 | Abide Counseling Collective | This content is for educational purposes only and does not constitute therapy or a therapeutic relationship.